Self-talk is the way we make sense of the world. An old journal from 1987 has an interesting entry about my own self-talk.
My passion for researching ways to improve learning for students often leads me to talk too much about my ideas. Times of depression have also haunted me although they aren’t as frequent now that I have found my path of service. Why was I writing in my journal in the parking lot of a hospital? It was obviously one of my depressing times. Here is what I wrote:
As I sit here in the hospital parking lot, people are scurrying to and fro as they carry on their business. I feel rejected. No one wants to listen to me and my ideas. Have I been difficult to get along with, self-opinionated, proud, haughty, over-bearing?
I guess my ideas are commonplace so why have I attached so much importance to them. Is it because I have to bolster my own image in my own eyes?
What has prompted me to speak with such self-confidence? Everyone must have been laughing, talking, making fun of me and my enthusiasm and bursts of passion. Why am I like this? My job is not that important and my impact short-lived.
I am embarrassed and humiliated. How many long-suffering souls have I cornered with my passionate outbursts? My ideas seem important to me but maybe they are inconsequential in the big scheme of things.
Reflective insight into the deep pools of past behaviors and comments made only push me further into the quick sand that seems to be enveloping me.
Please God, help me not to feel it is so important to be successful and a leader. Somehow I must change my view of myself and lower my sights and get my own worth in perspective. How will I behave now that I have had this vision of my true self? Somewhere between saint and sinner there has to be a happy meeting ground!
We talk ourselves into the behaviors we exhibit. It is important to understand how critical the way we talk to ourselves is to our well-being. Children talk to themselves based on what we say to them and how they are treated. If we are conscious of this, we will be more careful about the thoughts we put into their minds.
The goal of my work is HAPPINESS. Happy children talk to themselves in constructive ways. You can read more about children and self-talk in my article in Medium.
Tight hugs and happiness from the Reading Lady,